A drunk walked into a bar and stared at a woman for quite a while. Finally he walked over to her and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped his face.
He staggered back saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were my wife. You look just like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk,” she hollered.
“Funny,” the drunk said. “You even sound like her!”