FUNNY CHINESE CONFUCIUS SAYINGS

Years ago, I heard the confucius saying, “Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.” I always remembered that for some reason… And now, there’s many more sayings to sink your fingers into. Funny Chinese confucius sayings that are great. Enjoy!

1. Man who not poop for many days must take care of back log.
2. Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.
3. Man who sit on tack get point.
4. Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.
5. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
6. Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
7. With great power comes great electricity bill.
8. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
9. He who is stupid today is still stupid tomorrow.
10. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
11. He who stick head in open window get pane in neck.
12. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
13. Virginity like bubble: one prick, all gone.
14. If wise man marry, he become otherwise.
15. Man who eat sweets take up two seats.
16. If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in a public restroom.
17. When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason.
18. Passionate kiss like spider’s web soon lead to undoing of fly.
19. Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
20. Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.
21. Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
22. Man who learn to pleasure himself, come in handy.
23. Cheap prostitutes offer more bang for your buck.
24. Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.
25. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
26. No husband ever been shot while he do dishes.
27. Couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week.
28. He who fish in other man’s well often catches crabs.
29. Man who sleep on bed of nails is holy.
30. Mother’s Day comes nine months after Father’s Day.
31. If girlfriend starts smoking, man go too fast.
32. Butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a little behind in his orders.
33. Man who get hit by car, get run-down feeling.
34. Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
35. Waitress who sits on leper’s lap, keep tip.
36. Never tell a secret to a pig, it may squeal.
37. Man who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
38. Woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.
39. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
40. Man who pull on bra-strap, may get bust in mouth.
41. Blind man who pees on electric fence will see the light.
42. Woman who sit on lap of judge get honorable discharge.
43. Man who make mistake in elevator wrong on many levels.
44. Squirrel who run up woman’s leg not find nuts.
45. He who wash face in morning, neck at night.
46. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
47. Cross-eyed teacher cannot control pupils.
48. Hooker with bike pedal ass all over town.
49. Man who scratch bottom should not bite fingernails.
50. He who laughs last did not get the joke.