A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender said, “Long time since I’ve seen you around. You look terrible!”
The pirate nodded, “Well, I feel fine now.”
The bartender pointed to his leg. “You didn’t have that wooden leg the last time I saw you.”
“No, I got into this horrific battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg. But I survived though!”
“Uh-huh, and you didn’t have that hook on your arm either.”
“No,” the pirate said, “I got in a sword fight and lost my hand!”
“Wow! What about your eye patch?”
The pirate smiled, “A bunch of sea gulls flew over the ship, and when I looked up, one of them crapped in my eye.”
“Really?” said the bartender, “And that’s how you lost your eye?”
“No,” the pirate replied, “I rubbed it!”
