Funny THE BEST YO MOMMA JOKES ON THE WEB!

THE BEST YO MOMMA JOKES ON THE WEB!

Yo Momma Fat? Yo Mama Dumb? Yo Momma Ugly? Old? If so, these are the best, and the funniest Yo Momma, or Your Mama jokes on the web. Enjoy!

Yo Momma So Fat:

Yo momma so fat, she wears a sock on each toe.

Yo momma so fat, she has more crack than Whitney and Bobby.

Yo momma so fat, she can’t reach her back pocket.

Yo momma so fat, she gets group insurance!

Yo momma so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: “To be continued.”

Yo momma so fat, she left the house in heels and came back wearing flip-flops.

Yo momma so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet!

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Yo momma so fat, her belly gets home 15 minutes before she does!

Yo momma so fat, she’s on both sides of the family!

Yo momma so fat, she uses bacon as breath mints.

Yo momma so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo momma so fat, when she got a flesh eating disease, doctors gave her ten years to live!

Yo momma so fat, she’s got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat, she beeps when she backs up.

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is “equator.”

Yo momma so fat, she fell and created the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat, her belly-button’s got an echo!

Yo momma so fat, when she walks in front of the TV, you miss 3 episodes.

Yo momma so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat, the back of her neck looks like Oscar Mayer Wieners.

Yo momma so fat, when she tripped on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat, she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her!

Yo momma so fat, she was born on the 4th, 5th and 6th of March.

Yo momma so fat, she sat on a dollar bill and she squeezed a burp out of George Washington.

Yo momma so fat, they used Google Earth for her school photo.

Yo momma so fat, she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as the Antarctica.

Yo momma so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the whole species goes extinct.

Yo momma so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Yo momma so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210, was on a scale.

Yo momma so fat, she sat on an iphone, and it turned into an ipad.

Yo momma so fat, she eats with a forklift.

Yo momma so fat, her nickname is “DAMN!”

Yo momma so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo momma so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo momma so fat, she puts her lipstick on with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat, she measures 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as big.

Yo momma so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Yo momma so fat, the only thing stopping her from Jenny Craig, is the width of the door.

Yo momma so fat, she she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

Yo momma so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat, she uses the redwood forest to pick her teeth.

Yo momma so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretchmarks.

Yo momma so fat, she went to the movie theater and everyone sat next to her.

Yo momma so fat, a mosquito bit her and got diabetes.

Yo momma so fat, she’s taller when she lies down.

Yo momma so fat, she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Yo momma so fat, the National Weather Service names her farts.

Yo momma so fat, her Polo shirt has a real horse on it.

Yo momma so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, “Who threw that rock?”

Yo momma so fat, she wears deodorant on her neck.

Yo momma so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat, the army uses her underwear as parachutes.

Yo momma so fat, she did a belly flop and 2 weeks later they found water on Mars.

Yo momma so fat, she has to wear her pants backwards, because her front butt is bigger.

Yo momma so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat, she has front, side, and back boobs.

Yo momma so fat, she doesn’t have corn rows she has crop circles.

Yo momma so fat, her shadow weighs 100 pounds.

Yo momma so fat, I took a picture of her on Christmas and it’s still printing.

Yo momma so fat, she uses a stick of butter for chapstick.

Yo momma so fat, when she bends over, the country enters daylight saving!

Yo momma so fat, when she wears blue people yell “Tsunami”.

Yo momma so fat, she doesn’t need a passport because she’s already there.

Yo momma so fat, if you try to drive around her, you’ll run out of gas.

Yo momma so fat, she hasn’t seen her waistline since 1985.

Yo momma so fat, when she talks on the phone, it gets lost in her ear.

Yo momma so fat, her address is McDonalds.

Yo momma so fat, she can’t even clap her hands.

Yo momma so fat, she goes into a restaurant, looks at the menu and says “Okay!”

Yo momma so fat, she uses latitude and longitude to find her asshole.

Yo momma so fat, she has shocks on her toilet.

Yo momma so fat, she put Little Debbie through college.

Yo momma so fat, her stretch marks got stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat, she sweats bacon bits.

Yo momma so fat, she’s protected by Greenpeace.

Yo momma so fat, her birthday is actually a birth week.

Yo momma so fat, if she looks to the right, she can see the back of her head.

Yo momma so fat, she wears her house as a swimsuit.

Yo momma so fat when she bought a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks down the street, she creates potholes.

Yo momma so fat, she was the rolling boulder in the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Yo momma so fat, when she went swimming, she got her ears pierced with a harpoon.

Yo momma so fat, she hopped in a monster truck and made it a low rider.

Yo momma so fat, her engagement ring was Saturn’s.

Yo momma so fat, when she wears green, people in Japan scream “GODZILLA!!”

Yo momma so fat, she was Miley Cyrus’s wrecking ball.

Yo momma so fat, when she farted, she launched herself into orbit.

Yo momma so fat, when she gets hit by a bus she yells “Who threw that Twinkie at me?”

Yo momma so fat, uses the Mexico as a tanning bed.

Yo momma so fat, she eats soup with the Big Dipper.


Yo Momma So Dumb:

Yo momma so dumb, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma so dumb, she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Yo momma so dumb, she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo momma so dumb, she sold her car to get gasoline money!

Yo momma so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo momma so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

Yo momma so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so dumb, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Yo momma so dumb, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma so dumb, she went to the YMCA thinking it’s Macy’s.

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Yo momma so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.


Yo Momma So Ugly:

Yo momma so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone.

Yo momma so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly, when she went bungee jumping, they put the cord around her neck.

Yo momma so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks!

Yo momma so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma!

Yo momma so ugly, her mother had to feed her with a sling shot.

Yo momma so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

Yo momma so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo momma so ugly, people break into her house just to close the curtains.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into Taco Bell and they all ran for the border.

Yo momma so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo momma so ugly, her armpits look like Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo momma so ugly, she has to trick-or-treat by phone.

Yo momma so ugly, when she went to the haunted house, they gave her an application.

Yo momma so ugly, when she looked out the window, she got arrested for indecent exposure.

Yo momma so ugly, when she sits down in the sand, cats try to bury her.


Yo Momma So Old:

Yo momma so old, she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo momma so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma so old, her social security number is one.

Yo momma so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo momma so old, when she was young, rainbows were black and white!

Yo momma so old, she has an autographed bible.

Yo momma so old, she farts dust!


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